My friend who
currently goes once went by the name “Zaygar of the Hell Plaines” sent me his latest piece entitled “The Good Weather and Bums in Colorado“. I felt that it had shades of Gonzo to it, maybe it just hit a nerve…
This is just a hint of the sweet ass Street Dwellers in Denver.
Tin Man- Paints his hands, feet and face silver then wears complete silver tight outfits including boots, then rides the train and does the Robot in Lo Do, while asking for change.
The Mayor of Denver- OK, were talking Vietnam Vet, crazy but some how is a political activist of some sort. Wears camo and snakes old smokes from ash trays, while promoting Denver politics to anyone who will listen at the bus stop on the corner of Mississippi and Colorado Blvd.
Sneaker Joe- This is a 6 ft 7 in. black guy that has been hitting the boof (crack for the lay-person) that comes around and try’s to sell the same pair of beat up old Converse that he either found or wore for like a year. After repeatedly saying no to him, he asks for free pizza then leaves and begs for change in the parking lot.
Skakes- Another black bum that waits till the crosswalk is done saying WALK, then crosses. After several muscle spasms and middle fingers at cars trying to get through traffic he jerks his way across. He than repeats this at the same crosswalk for several hours.
Buzz and Skanky Lucy- Buzz looks like a NASCAR fan from NH, long black hair, stash, beat up denim winter jacket and a mesh trucker hat. He waits either across the street or down the strip a bit for his skank, Lucy, to beg for smokes and money on the Corner of Mississippi and Colorado, her sign usually reads..”Homeless and need money, I’m too fucking lazy to get a job and need my next fix QUICK!! Otherwise Buzz is gonna kick my ass.” Last time i saw Skanky Lucy and Buzz, Lucy had a black eye, healing and was waling back to buzz holding her arms at her side as he yelled at her for not staying long enough to score some loot to get high on.
These are real people and not based on fictional events, times or places. And I get a HUGE fucking laugh from it.
Keep your job, stay off hard drugs, and don’t be a bum.
… yeah, what he said.